Paralyzed: I can't feel my legs
by MarenMary93
Summary: Link to 2x06. Barry wakes up without sensation in his legs. The aftermath will follow.
1. Can't feel my legs

Paralyzed.

 **The latest episode of 'The Flash' hit a weak, and bruised spot for me. My family have always been prone to accidents and mishaps, be it bruises, scrapes, dislocations or fractures… None of us has ever won at life...**

 **On my dad's side of the family, there have been two (three) life-changing accidents, involving…  
Well… The spinal cord… Actually…**

 **One; My aunt…  
She got paralyzed in an auto accident when her son was less than a year old. She lived in what I can only think of as a pure hell for about twenty years. I barely remember her. **

**Second; My dad.  
My father's health was failing. But not because he didn't know how to take care of himself, it was because his body was against him. He fought hard every day to keep on being the tough man he was. A man many remember as a loyal friend, and a hard-working man. His work ethics was beyond what could be asked for. A man I can only dream of being compared with, except for when it comes to looks. He had a hard case of Bechterew's disease. And Epilepsy…  
One day while riding his bike over to one of his neighbors, he had a seizure. He crashed his bike, and broke his neck. They kept him alive at the hospital for a few more days after that…  
But I guess he's better off now, he always called it one of his greatest fears to be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life… I guess he won…?**

 **(Three; My oldest cousin. Son of the aunt I mentioned as number 1.  
He died in a motorcycle crash. Broke his back, but it was other internal injuries that killed him.)**

Barry's heart dropped. He could see it, but he couldn't feel anything as Cisco's hand landed on his leg. It was like his legs were made out of rubber, like they didn't belong to him.

"Oh no… You're staying put…" Caitlin's hands were on his shoulders, anchoring him to the bed.

"Yeah! Seriously, you got your ass kicked!" Cisco chimed inn.

Thoughts passed through Barry's brain with the usual alarming speed. He saw flashes of the future, a future where he was linked to a wheelchair. It was unsettling, scary even.

His hands squeezed the meaty part of his thighs. Testing whether or not he could feel it.

"No guys…" He could feel his own heart breaking with each syllable that rolled off his tongue. "I can't feel my legs."

There was a moment of confusion, Caitlin and Cisco looked at him. They looked like they hadn't heard, or understood what he had said.

More thoughts raced through his mind. It could happen that he would never run again, that he never would save another life again… That ' _The Flash_ ' was dead… So to speak…

"I can't feel my legs…" he looked directly at the two others. His own voice felt distant, unreal, unfazed by the tragedy he was standing in front of. Or you know… Lying in front of…

"You mean like 'my-ass-is-sleeping,-so-I-can't-feel-my-legs' right?" Cisco asked a few seconds later.

"No, Yeah… But no…" The same distant voice. "It's somewhere between numb and I can't feel anything at all… I'm not sure whether I actually feel prickling, or if my mind is playing games with me…"

 **.FLASH.**

A week later, and he still couldn't feel much below his navel, nothing below his hips. His once fast legs were useless. Only distant acquaintances, not really good for anything. The legs were taunting him, reminding him of an era of his life he expected to be lost for all eternity.

With a little help from Cisco, he had been seated in the couch at star labs. At least it made him feel a little bit more normal. The chair was necessary for him to move around on his own, but it was a killer for his back. He hadn't found one position that was comfortable after ten minutes. He had to fight the urge to crack his back all the time. The injury was still to be considered fresh… And he, they, didn't know if it was permanent, or if it could get worse… Of course, things can ALWAYS get worse…

So he tried to behave. He tried to be a good patient…

His hands went down to grip his thighs once again. A weird habit he had made for himself. Nope, his legs were still as dead as earlier. He sighed.

The weight of the world was crushing down on his shoulders. He couldn't be a hero like this, and there were still evil metahumans out there terrorizing Central City.

He felt useless.  
He was useless.

 **Well… Didn't turn out exactly as planned, but what does?**

 **Hope you got through this chapter in one piece.**

 **Geeez… Sometimes when I talk about my family, I sometimes get the urge to wrap myself in bubblewrap and lock myself inside a safe room…**


	2. Visit from SC

**Hope you enjoyed the last chapter. As well as anyone can enjoy tragedy I guess…  
Here's some more… **

He was sitting uncomfortably in his _chair_ behind one of the desks as he became aware of familiar voices in the hallway of Star Labs. The bubbly voice of one Felicity Smoak as she tried rephrasing something for someone, to make it sound less; Sucky?

A deep baritone answered, Diggle.

And then another deep baritone said something. Oliver.

Was the whole team arrow here? Oh gosh… Could he hide? Was it too late?

Yup, too late. Oliver stepped into the room. Shortly followed by Felicity and Diggle.

"Hi Bar!" Felicity chimed as she saw him behind the desk.

Oliver and Diggle also greeted him. He greeted them back. Apparently no one had told them about his little situation.

Then the inevitable happened. Felicity went in for a hug.

She gasped half a second after she turned the corner of the desk. Her eyes had landed on the wheelchair.

"Barry, honey… Are you all right?"

It was the 'honey' that did it. He broke down… He hadn't shed a tear in over a week. He had been too disturbed to take his new reality in over himself to get in touch with his feelings.

He cried, his head bobbed from side to side answering Felicity's question.

She placed a hand on his lower arm, rolled him out from under the table… Then she knelt down beside him and hugged him. He caved in on her. He burrowed his face in her shoulder and cried like he hadn't done in years.

Careful hands stroked his back, giving him much needed comfort.

"What happened?"

Barry was in no condition to answer her question, at least in no condition to give her an understandable answer…

By now Diggle and Oliver had found their way over to the mess Barry was. Or at least felt like.

He felt two giant palms landing on his shoulders. He didn't have to look up to know that both Oliver and Diggle was standing by his side, trying to comfort him. Trying to give him support…

 **.FLASH.**

Minutes passed, and the sound of him crying died down. He could feel how snot and tears blended and made and icky mess.

He felt how Felicity's hand still went up and down his back. And how Oliver's, it had to be Oliver's, thumb had started to gently knead a spot on his left shoulder.

"Zoom messed up my back…" He almost scared himself when he heard how weak his own voice sounded. "And we're not sure if it will ever get better…"

What felt like a new gallon of tears threatened to escape his eyes. But honestly, he was past caring about image… He just let it happen…

He felt how Diggle started stroking his back in the same way as Felicity did. He felt how Oliver's massive palm squeezed his shoulder, then released the pressure as he knelt down beside him. Oliver's knees made unsettling noises as he lowered himself. Creaking and pops, followed by the release of some long held breath.

"Hey, buddy… I know you'll get through this, and you will stick the landing better than anyone else can… I just know it…"

For the first time in a week, a smile touched his lips. It was faint and fleeting, but it was there…

 **.FLASH.**

"So… This is why Cisco called us and asked for our help…" Felicity gestured towards the wheelchair.

"I guess so… I didn't know about it until you showed up here… But yeah… I guess…" Barry scratched the back of his head with one hand. "As you see… There is no way I'm fighting anyone, metahumans or not, for the foreseeable future…"

Oliver nodded with a somber look on his face.

"How bad is it?" he finally asked, a wheelchair can mean a lot of things…

Felicity shot Oliver a death-glare. Oh man, if looks could kill…

"I can't feel or move my legs… Other than that, I'm okay…"

"We really need to stop redefining 'OKAY', because the next one that tells me they're 'okay' when they have any sort of injury beside a papercut is gonna get it!" Felicity almost growled as she rested her head in her palm.

"I think I'm the only one to be kinda scared right now… And that's because I can't walk or run…"

Oliver couldn't help but chuckle when he saw Felicity's face fold into a grimace. He pushed off the counter he had been leaning against, and started making his way over to his girlfriend.

Oliver's right knee creaked as he placed weight on it, and Barry was willing to swear that he was the only one who saw the grimace that flashed across Oliver's face as he tried to hide the subtle limp in his gait. Well, Barry was pretty sure he was the only one to notice that too…

 **.FLASH.**

Oliver felt like a brat as he tried his best to keep from showing how badly one of his old knee injuries acted up.

So what if his knee was permanently unstable, and hurt every now and then? He could walk, couldn't he? His right knee served up and audible pop as he straightened it out as much as the brace he hid under his pants, and the knee itself would allow him.

His jaw clenched together, his lips drew a thin line over his teeth.

 _'_ _It's only pain Ollie, SUCK IT UP!_ ' Some kind of drill sergeant voice rung around in his head. The same voice that had gotten him through many tough times before. Not that he recognized the voice from anywhere…

He could walk, he should be dancing of joy… Okay, not in front of Barry…

 **I just felt like I should make a smaaaaaaalllll parallel between B and O.**

 **I'm sorry.  
-I'm not sorry…**


	3. Misery

**Thank you all so much for the feedback! Makes me really, really happy!**

It was frustrating, being the fastest man alive…  
… And being paraplegic.

Sure, he was still fast, sure he could still do things with amazing speed and agility…  
From his waist and up…

And yeah, he was already getting quite skilled with the wheelchair. He had chosen a manual one, not like the one Wells, no wait… Eobard Thawne had used. That way he could still have _some_ fun with his speed.  
Though he counted his speedster days as gone.

He was pretty sure that he would never run again, never walk again… Wouldn't he at least have _felt_ something by now? With his speedy healing, you would think that what could heal had healed within a week…

Nope, probably never gonna walk again…  
But hey, at least it was only his legs… It could have been worse…

It could have been his neck, and not his back…  
He could have lost feeling and movement in his arms too…

That would really have sucked. Majorly…

He then decided to join the rest of the crew, instead of sitting alone in his misery.

 **.FLASH.**

Nausea.

Nausea was a real thing, a very, very real thing…

Oliver had locked himself in the bathroom ten minutes ago. Felicity was on her way over at STAR LABs with the Flash Crew.

He had told her that he would get a few hours of sleep before his nightly activities, this time in a different city.

But his real reason for not joining her over at the lab was his insides, threatening to make a trip outside.

And the reason?

His damn knee. The pain was keeping him awake at night, it tired him out, he tried to hide it and it only got worse.

He had made it through another set of hours, hidden the pain, hidden the brace… Not even Felicity knew anything.

And now it all came crashing down on him. His knee was swollen beyond belief. It hurt so bad he actually debated to chop it off himself. And everything he had eaten the last 24 hours had come up again. He was throwing up pure stomach acid by now…

He felt sorry for himself, then he felt like a jerk.  
He was sitting there on the floor, by the porcelain… And feeling sorry for himself, when one of his friends recently had been paralyzed.

 _"_ _Fuck you Oliver. Grow up, grow a damn pair…"_ he wasn't quite sure whether he thought it, or said it out loud to himself… Didn't matter, now did it?

He placed the well-est foot close to his ass, and used the edge of the bathtub he was leaning against to lever himself up.

He got up, figured he had to find the knee-brace in his bag and started limping towards the main room.

Of course he forgot to think about one thing… His knee was unstable as hell. He should really plan each step he made, be sure to place his foot, knee and hip in line, and not turn quickly on that leg…  
He rounded the corner with the door, and felt his hip bone slide towards the edge of his leg bone.  
Such an uncomfortable and scary feeling… He never got used to it…

He face-planted. In the most majestic way possible…

He hissed, and grabbed his knee. It hadn't dislocated, so that was something at least…

Tears fell from his eyes as he once again realized how useless he was, how big of a baby he was… He couldn't even walk from the hotel bathroom to the hotel bed without his knee failing him… There was little to no doubt that _he_ would fail this city…

Instead of getting up, and walking the last few feet… He scooted over.  
Less painful, much more humiliating… Even without anyone there to watch…

 **.FLASH.**

"Where's Oliver?" Barry asked when Felicity walked into the room.

She would probably never get used to being taller than Barry. Nope. Wrong thoughts… She would never have the chance to get used to it, because he was going to walk again. She just knew it. If anything, she would get Ray, who turned out to be alive… To build something for him. Something that could fix him, not that he needed to be fixed, but something that could un-wreck his back…

Oh God? Why could her brain never stop chattering?

"At the hotel, he thought it would be a good idea to rest up before the job tonight. You know… Him being a regular human and all…"

Her heart fluttered when Barry smiled, she felt like that might be a seldom thing around here these days.

"Yeah, I rarely need that much sleep anymore… It's awesome!" Barry joked back at her.

Felicity smiled. Oliver was right, Barry was going to stick the landing on this one just right. He just had to come close to the ground before he could land…

 **Okay… I just love making characters lives difficult… Apparently.  
And it looks like some of you even enjoy reading about it… **

**That's what I call a WIN-WIN situation!**


	4. Snaps

**Wow, never expected this many reviews this 'early' in the story. Thank you!**

How in the world would this end with anything other than pain and suffering? And maybe a casualty or ten?

Oliver should have asked himself that question a few hours ago, when he was still clinging tight to the white ceramics of the hotel bathroom. The functional brace protected his knee from the worst movements, but his knee still complained loudly.

He had dressed up in his regular outfit, Diggle had pulled on his 'helmet'… They had Felicity and Team Flash on the intercom. And they were about to fight metahumans…

This Zoom guy was apparently not a joke, with him leaving Barry in a wheelchair. Not to mention that Barry had superpowers. Something their own team lacked. But they usually made it. They were still alive, most of them hadn't died more than once anyway… Bad humor…

 **.FLASH.**

Oliver prayed that his trap would work. On second thought, he was probably optimistic… That, basically, same trap had worked on Barry a year earlier. And by the description he had gotten of Zoom…

He should have planned more…

His face was suddenly met by a strong wind, as the dark speedster appeared in front of him.

"Robert Queen… Don't you ever die?" the voice coming from the ebony speedster was just as dark and nightmarish as was expected.

Oliver shook his head, the mentioning of his father's name stung his heart. But he was pretty much unfazed by it. Another world… Another story…

"So you think you know me?" Oliver tried sounding older than what he really was.

"Know you?" Zoom let out a cold-hearted laugh. "I even worked beside you! Don't you remember _me_?"

The speedster advanced, charging at Oliver. He tripped the wire, and Diggle aimed his gun to use as an addition to the webs they were shooting at Zoom.

The force knocked the air straight out of Oliver's lungs. He flew backwards, airborne a good five yards before he contacted with the ground once again.

His knee erupted in flames as he was tossed head over ass along the pavement. Two snaps came almost at once. One metallic one, as his brace came apart. And one organic one…

His hands grasped around his knee even before he had stopped skidding across the alleyway. The pain had multiplied by a tenfold. He felt his stomach churning on empty, and felt bitter bile rise in his throat.

 **.FLASH.**

Barry had wheeled himself away from the screen. That flying-lesson looked painful, and then the gut-wrenching sound at the end…

He was responsible for this. If he hadn't been a cocky little brat, none of this would have happened! He would still be able to walk, and Oliver would be safe and sound in Star City… Not curled up in pain on the asphalt in one of Central City's alleys.

Felicity had also turned her back to the screen. Seeing Oliver taking a beating had been rough on her many times before, but this time with sound and picture and Barry's injury in mind…  
Torture.

"I got him." Three simple words, delivered by John Diggle. "He's not going anywhere…"

 **.FLASH.**

Oliver tried steadying his knee. The pain was unbearable, there was no way he would be able to walk this one off. No chance in hell.

Diggle started his way over to him, stopped briefly by the trapped Zoom, then skipped the last few feet.

"Hey buddy. I heard a sound…" he squatted down, one hand hovering above Oliver's form.

A primeval growl came across Oliver's lips as he fought the urge to cry. His leg and knee hurt so damn bad.

"You're hurt?" Brown concerned eyes tried to contact with Oliver's blue ones. "Aren't you?"

Oliver nodded into the pavement below as his fingers dug into the area around his knee.

"Your knee?"

Another nod.

"I guess I deserve the diploma for least observant guy ever, if I ask if you think you can walk…"

Oliver drew a shaky breath, held it and contemplated his answer.

"I think I *sob*" he paused to gather himself, "IThinkICanHobble!"

Diggle stared at him for a few more seconds before he managed to decipher the sentence that had sounded like one quick and weird word. He nodded.

"I'll bring the van closer."

 **.FLASH.**

The web drained Zoom of all his powers, and Diggle had no problems maneuvering him inside the specially designed jail-cell they had brought with them. A little metahuman-box…

Once the cell was secured, and he was certain that the Zoom had no way of escaping, he moved over to his deep down best friend. Because that was what he was, even with the rocky road they had been on the last couple of months.

"How bad is it?"

Oliver set some cold, hard eyes in him.

"Okay, that bad…" Diggle frowned as he leaned down beside the green hero. "Were you serious about that hobble thing?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay, let's get you up then…" He grabbed a hold around Oliver's waist, and held his arm tight across his opposite shoulder. "On three… Okay?"

He felt Oliver nod beside him, and started counting.

When he reached three, he pushed his boots hard into the ground and lifted himself and most of Oliver's weight too.

Oliver screamed I agony as the movement did nothing good towards his injured limb.

"I'm sorry brother…" Diggle whispered as his heart broke a little more, "I'm sorry…"

 **.FLASH.**

"STOP THE CAR!"

Diggle hit the brakes, almost before he registered the words.

No more had the tires stopped squealing against the pavement, before Oliver dived out of the passenger door. Making it the full of four feet before he assumed what you might call four-wheel-drive.

Diggle sprung from his seat, and went outside to see what was the matter.

He found Oliver on all four, heaving on the very last that could still be inside him.

"Don't. Even. Ask. If. I'm. Okay." Each word took an immense amount of energy from him.

Diggle nodded, and resigned to steadying Oliver's shoulders until he stopped shaking and vomiting.

Then they stayed outside the truck for a few minutes, the could autumn air showing a soothing effect on Oliver's nausea.

 **.FLASH.**

 ***Hours later***

Oliver hobbled into the room, steadying himself on two aluminum crutches. He had come to the conclusion that he would have Jonas Hart take a look at it once he got back to Star City. It even hurt to sit still, with his leg elevated in front of him…

He knew it was probably for the best if he just visited Central City hospital, but then he had to figure out lies to unfamiliar doctors… Which he was too tired to even think about…  
Besides, it wasn't like his leg would just fall off…

"How you holding up there champ?"

Barry looked up from his book as the question rang through the air. He scrunched up his nose, and tilted his head before answering.

"I could be asking you the exact same question…" he scratched the back of his head, then stretched the muscles in his back. "Shouldn't you be resting?"

Oliver shrugged, and let himself relax against the countertop.

"I'm not made for resting, I guess…" His face tightened as he tried to position his swollen leg a little better.

"Yeah… I guess we're two of a kind…" Barry sighed, and pressed a palm down at his left knee. Not surprised to still find no sensation…

"You really think I'll get through this? And still do what I do?" Big worried eyes met Oliver's.

"I sure do kiddo, I sure do…"

 **Pheeeewww… That chapter turned out to be long… (Considering I'm the author…)**

 **Hope you enjoyed it.**


	5. Pain part 1

**So… I just finished watching the latest episode of The Flash, and I'm sitting in the car I drive tonight. It's a damn slow night, even for my small town, on a weeknight, in November… Finished a 7.5 hour shift at my other job, had exactly one hour to get home, shower, change and get some food… Before I had to log in on the taximeter one hour after clocking out of the first job. Then a 13 hour shift awaited.**

 **But hey, I'm allowed to sleep… If I could…**

 **ANYWAY…**

 **I'm not going to advance as far as the next episode did… Because, well…  
Where's the fun in that?**

Barry looked down at his useless leg. Almost two weeks now, and still not a smidge of feeling.

But his back hurt. Yeah… His back totally played its part…

The pain put him in a shitty mood. He had almost snapped at Iris that morning, and the reason? She asked if he wanted a cup of coffee… He had no excuse. No excuse at all…

He sat and sulked, his wheelchair facing the wall.

He was so deep into his own thoughts that he didn't even notice Oliver crutching up behind him.

"Hey, wheelie…"

The voice made Barry jump in his seat. As far as jumping went, in his condition.

"Hey, gimp…"

Oliver leaned heavily on his crutches as he paused to find a spot to sit. His leg got far from the amount of rest it needed, considering that Oliver was practically allergic to sitting still for more than ten minutes at the time.

His eyes landed on a chair in the far corner. He had no way of moving it, without making it extremely awkward for himself, so he just hoped that Barry would follow… As he did…

"Any progress?" Oliver asked, his eyes landing on Barry's still legs.

"Not unless you call my back starting to hurt like damn for progress…" Barry almost whispered in return. Then he lifted himself off the seat for a few seconds to relieve his spine.

Oliver shrugged. "Well, we can hope… Can't we?"

Barry opted for a smile, but it fell short. "Yeah, we can hope for miracles…"

He let himself slowly into the seat again, before he looked Oliver up and down.

"How 'bout you?" He nodded in the direction of Oliver's right knee. "How is that thing coming along?"

Oliver bit down on his lower lip, as his eyes wandered down towards the traitorous joint.

"It's been better, and it's been worse…"

"Oliver, I know for a fact that you've been shot, stabbed, sliced… You have a third degree burn on about half of your back…" Barry's dark, concerned eyes locked on Oliver's. "You have got to be more specific…"

Oliver nodded. He understood what the kid meant.

"It wasn't completely dislocated. So I bet it's not all that bad… It's definitely not the worst I've had. It hurts a bit, but not more than I can manage… And Felicity is freaking out over it…"

"Yeah, I bet she is…" Barry couldn't help but chuckle. Even though his Oliver-to-English dictionary told him a painful truth.

The injury wasn't the WORST he had had. But that wouldn't say it wasn't the second worst, or fifth worst for that matter…

It hurt a bit, but not more than Oliver could manage.  
Barry had heard stories. Stories he basically knew to be true, of Oliver freaking Queen hiding everything from acute appendicitis to bullet-wounds. At least five of those incidents had landed him in a hospital bed for more than a week, once the injury had been discovered…  
So if the day came, that he heard Oliver say that any pain was too bad… That he couldn't handle it anymore… He wouldn't call 911…  
He would dial the number to a funeral home instead…

Felicity freaking out…?  
Well, Barry didn't read deep into that statement. It was all he expected really…

"But you're going to see a doctor once you get back home to Star City? I mean… You did say you heard something snap… Didn't you?"

Oliver shrugged. "I guess I'll see Jonas… As of that snapping sound, it might have been the brace too… It came apart, remember?"

"One of the metal-ly pieces broke straight across."

One side of Oliver's mouth tried to tug up towards a sideway smirk. "So…"

"Usually metal is stronger than bone and ligaments!"

Oliver just shrugged, not really wanting to comment the last statement.

 **.FLASH.**

Later that day, Oliver had decided on a short evening stroll in the city. He knew that some rest probably would have been better for him, but when you're born with an infinity-engine… Let's just say you're not the best patient that has ever lived…

His knee was pounding, he was thankful for the brace that Cisco had managed to dig up in their storage. At least it kept his leg from moving at free will. It looked like it was from the 1940's… But it did the job.

He hopped along the sidewalk at Marabell's drive, his crutches making loud noises each time they hit the concrete.

He noticed a lot of people staring at him. Curiosity peaking within them.

He stopped at a corner, and looked down at his legs.  
His army-green cargo pants clothed his legs. On his right leg, a brace with leather straps and aluminum stabilizers folded over the leg of the pants. His hiking boots were newly shined, and looked good.

On his upper body, he had a flannel shirt, covered by some sort of a field jacket.

He shrugged and hobbled further. He found a café where he could order a cup of something warm and maybe something to eat. That sounded lovely.

He entered the diner, and struggled his way to one of the closest tables. Which turned out to be pretty close to the toilets too.

He lifted his injured leg up on the chair next to him. It pulsated with pain.

He sat and relaxed for a minute or two, before the waitress approached him.

She welcomed him, and made sure to state that all military workers and veterans had 20 percent off on every meal.

To which Oliver blinked as a stranded fish. Military… Veteran…?  
Right… His choice of wardrobe…

He knew he probably should say something, tell her that he wasn't a military professional, or well… A veteran…  
But he kinda was… He had worked with and for A.R.G.U.S. a lot of times, and he was too tired to object…

 **Okay, had to cut it short… Finally got a trip to the airport! YAAAASSSS!**


	6. Pain part 2

**Okay, so I started this chapter the day after I posted the last one… And since then it has just been crazy.**

 **Crazy much work, crazy amount of important pre-winter things to do off-work…  
And…  
*drumroll*  
-dating-**

 **Yeah… I've started that 'sport' again… It's been what? Two years?  
(I know that's not all that much time, it's not like ten or fifteen years… But: I LIVE WITH A FRIGGIN' COUPLE! You know how it feels when you're single as F, and you have a couple of lovebirds sweet talking each other like ten yards away? All the damn time… I feel like the last six months with those two count as double time… Why don't we just go ahead and say it's been three years…  
-anyway… I met someone. And he's super sweet and adorable and handsome and impulsive and nothing like my two ex'es… And I'm a klutz…  
My dating game is dead… I suck at it! I should wear a sign that says; "If I say something COMPLETELY RANDOM, or TOTALLY WEIRD, or anything that might sound like it was meant in a positive way if you tilt your head and clasp your hands over one ear…  
!WAKE UP! I'M FLIRTING WITH YOU!"  
That's how off I am… And it would be hard to fit all that onto a sign…)**

 **And yeah… Lazy me finally went to my doctor… And he ordered an MRI for my knee…  
Got the appointment on the day before Christmas Eve… (Fun fact. In Norway we celebrate Christmas on Christmas EVE, not Christmas Day…) **

Oliver enjoyed his coffee. It was the best coffee he had had all day. And it was a generous cup too.

His knee was still causing him grief, but it had started calming down… The waitress that tended to his table had went off and found a pillow for his leg, which he thought of as embarrassing on his part, and thoughtful gesture by her part.

He wasn't supposed to need a pillow. No sir.

 **.FLASH.**

Barry used his time to read up on about everything he could think of. Being superfast was a great thing, he could do things in two minutes, that other people needed eight hours to do… But that also worked the opposite way… Unfortunately…

When he was alone, with nothing to do… Two minutes could feel like eight hours…  
So he read…

His back was kicking into high-gear, he was positive that he had never felt pain like this over this long. Sure, the time he broke his wrist in fifth grade was a memorable feat… But it had helped once the cast was on, and the bones were stabilized.  
This on the other hand… No forsaken position was comfortable. Sitting was uncomfortable, lying down was uncomfortable…  
And pain meds did just not work on him… Okay… Maybe if he took like 50 GRAMS of something, it would lessen his pain for what? Three seconds?

He got more and more agitated. More and more frustrated with the fact that he was paralyzed from his waist down, and still felt this much pain.

Fear crept into his heart. Was this what the rest of his life would be like? Would he be in this much pain, and still unable to walk?

He massaged the tender spot along his spine. He let himself fall forward and rest his chest on the desk in front of him.

"Dear God… If you're out there… Please help me!" he whispered the prayer, well knowing that no one else was around. "If you can't heal me, make me fit and able to walk again… Can you please take away my pain?"

He paused, tears stinging in his eyes. His voice threatening to crack…

"Oh, God… It hurts so bad!" He lost the fight against his tear ducts and his voice. Leaving him sobbing against an article about some new forensics procedure.

 **.FLASH.**

An hour later, three giant sized cups of coffee and a baked potato later… His leg still hurt like possessed.

He decided to make use of the restroom nearby, coffee inn means it has to come out again too… And maybe he could get a closer look at his knee too…?

No, wait… That brace was too complicated to take off and on just for a glimpse at his swollen knee. He could easily wait with that until he was back at the hotel and planned to undress for bed…

He could feel the waitress carefully studying him as he hobbled back to his table. He even saw a flash of pity in her eyes as he passed by her, so he tried hiding the fact that he felt like grimacing and screaming altogether. He gritted his teeth and hurried the last four strides over to his chair.

He eased himself down on the chair again, sighing with relief as he could rest once again.

The waitress came by him once again.

"Would you like some dessert? Or could I help you with anything else?"

Oliver forced himself to smile, no matter how much his leg bothered him.

"No thanks, I think that will be all." He paused to cast a glance down at his injured leg, "But could I just sit here for a few more minutes? Just to rest?"

"Sure thing! Just tell me if you'd like me to call a cab for you in a little while!" She batted her eyes at him.

"Thank you" he nodded.

He paid her in cash, leaving her plenty of tip. Then he just sat there for about ten more minutes before he caught her attention again.

"Yes, would you like to order that cab now?"

Oliver shook his head, "No Miss, but could you give me the number for the taxi, that way I can call if I decide that the walk back to where I stay is too long… You know… Mid-walk…"

The waitress nodded eagerly. And found her notebook, she proceeded to scribble down the number for the taxi-company. And her own number…

Yeah… Oliver would have to throw away that note before he got back to the hotel, where he and Felicity stayed.

"Thank you!" he beamed up at her. A polished move from his 'playboy' days.

 **.FLASH.**

 _Hey, I'm at STAR LABs. We kinda think we need you here…  
Love you._

Oliver was still six blocks away from the hotel when he got the message. He made a quick calculation before he figured that STAR LABs were about five times as far away. And he was beat. For the last two blocks, he had contemplated calling the first number on the piece of paper the waitress Elinor had given him. But he had only been eight blocks away, then seven, now six…

But STAR LABs was far away, at least for a guy on crutches. And especially with his leg…

He dialed the number, and was greeted with a mechanic voice telling him he was number three in line. After a few minutes, he got through to a real human.

He told her his location, and name and asked for a cab over to STAR LABs. Then when she asked him, he stated his phone number.

"Your cab will be there shortly, probably within 15 minutes…"

"Okay, thanks!"

His body quivered, he was so tired. The crutches was hard on his armpits. He had to admit, he didn't exactly have recent training with crutches…

He found a street bench and lowered himself down on it. Sucking in a sharp breath as his heel slid across the pavement below. He was getting pretty tired of being in pain by now. But hey… Things could still be worse. He had no right to complain…

 **.FLASH.**

The cab came a bit earlier than he had been foreshadowed. After only five minutes of waiting, a yellow vehicle with a taxi sign on top pulled to a halt in front of him.

"Mr. Queen?"

"Yeah, that's me…" Oliver said before started struggling to his feet, or foot.

The cabby had stepped out of her car. She looked Oliver up and down before she stepped closer.

"Need help?" the young woman asked.

Oliver rested back on the bench. He sighed and looked up at her. Her thick, curly blonde hair bounced around her face.

"Yeah… Think I might need some help…"

She smiled and stepped in next to him. She was stronger than she looked, she had no problems with helping Oliver to his feet.

"Thanks…" Oliver managed to whisper after his little grimacing fit.

He stood there for a while, regaining himself…

"Where in the car would you say there is the most leg-space?" he leaned heavily on his crutches as he asked.

"If you don't mind sitting sideways, the backseat is probably your best bet… But you can sit up front if you'd like…"

Oliver nodded. "Do you mind helping me in the front-seat?"

"Yeah! Sure!"

 **.FLASH.**

Few minutes later the cab drove up to the STAR LAB entrance. The ride cost just under 20 dollars, so he paid 40 dollars and told her to keep everything.

"Wow, thank you!" she looked at him with a smidge of disbelief in her eyes. "Thank you!"

"No problem…"

"Would you like some help out of the car too?"

"Yeah… I think that is a necessity…" he turned his frame towards her and smiled.

Three painful minutes later, he made her way towards the entrance.

 **.FLASH.**

"We found out this about half an hour ago. There will be a robbing at Central City Bank, in about three hours… We thought we could need some help with planning the counter-attack. With Barry being out of commission and you being… Well… Out of commission…"

They crowded around the computer screens. One monitor showed the blueprints for the bank, and another one showed the conversation Felicity's software had managed to pick up from one of the more anonymous sites on the web.

"Well… This is… Super…" Oliver sighed as he hobbled closer.

"What are we gonna do? Um… What are you gonna do?" Barry scratched the back of his head as he sunk deeper into the pit that seemed to swallow all of his mood that day. Or every day since Zoom broke his back…

"Call for backup?" Diggle looked between Oliver and Barry. "I mean, out two best guys are sidelined… As far as I can tell, I'm the only 'field guy' left here… Firestorm is far away, and the rest of our team is back in S.C…."

"That might be our best shot… But Star City is pretty far away… It takes a while to get here… And where is Firestorm?"

"Pittsburg…"

"Which Pittsburg? There's like 20 different Pittsburg's in the US!"

"Okay, okay… The one in Florida…"

Felicity rolled her eyes… "Couldn't they have picked a Pittsburg a little closer to home? Some place remotely near the west coast? Like the one here… In California!"

"Ray?"

"What about Ray?" Felicity looked at Oliver with curiosity in her eyes.

"Can Ray get the Thea and Laurel over here?"

"That!" She pointed towards Oliver, "Is the best idea so far! Keep it up! I'll call Ray…"

 **Okay… Felt like I needed to move on with the story… So I'll probably not focus too much on the bank robbery, but get on with Barry's and Oliver's healing…**

 **Thanks for all the support this far!**


	7. Diggle gets shot

**Well…**

Watching the rest of the team over the monitors at STAR LABs was annoying. His personality was no longer made for standing by, and watching other people handle the hard stuff…

Barry on the other hand had pulled a smarter move. After deciding he had nothing to offer, he had rolled his way into the room next door.

Over a screen that showed the security cameras Felicity had hacked in to, he watched Diggle take a bullet.

He went cold, the fact that they hadn't heard John cry out in pain or anything sent chills down his spine. He couldn't do this, he couldn't just stand there and watch his friends get killed.

He turned around and hobbled out of the room. The rest of the crew was frozen in front of the monitors.

 **.FLASH.**

"How's it going?" Barry asked sitting in his chair in a corner.

When he looked up, he saw Oliver's tear-brimmed eyes.

"John…" his voice collapsed before he could tell Barry what happened. His leg was following suit, threatening to buckle underneath him. He made it the four strides it took him to get to somewhere he could sit, before his good leg gave out due to emotions running around in his brain.

Barry wheeled himself closer, almost touching Oliver's good leg with his wheelchair.

"Oliver, what happened?" he rested one hand on Oliver's upper arm, trying to give some comfort of some sort.

"He got shot…" tears streamed down his face, he had no way of controlling them, no way of stopping them.

"Is he…?"

A simple shrug of Oliver's shoulders answered his question. Their friend could be dead or alive, but they had no way of helping him.

Fury built within him, Barry's blood ran hot as he cursed his own situation. It would be pretty damn okay, as far as nobody else got hurt because of him… He balled his hand into a fist, not really noticing the act himself, before anger made him drive his fist down hard on top of his lap.

The pain made his eyes water for a second before he realized a thing. It wasn't his hand that hurt…

Oliver had looked up when Barry sounded his discomfort, and was now trying to decipher his expression.

Barry squeezed his thigh once, to make sure he had felt something. And yes… He could feel as his thumb dug into the meaty part of his thighs.

"I felt it…" his wild eyes found Oliver's, "I can feel my thighs!"

Before any of them had the possibility to celebrate Barry's latest discovery, Cisco stormed into the room.

"GREAT NEWS! Diggle's alive! He got shot in the shoulder, it wrecked his mic… Laurel's with him… He's awake… And bleeding a bit, but they said it wasn't anything life-threatening…"

"GREAT!" Both men beamed back at him, both letting their shoulders fall an inch as they let themselves relax.

"He can feel his legs by the way…" Oliver pointed at Barry, as he wiped a tear away from his own cheek.

"Can you? That's awesome!"

"Just my thighs… I don't really think I can feel anything below my knees yet…"

"But it's heading in the right direction…"

"I guess so…?"

 **.FLASH.**

"You okay man?" Barry asked looking up at Diggle, who was sitting on the desk getting his shoulder rinsed by Oliver. Who again was leaning against the desk, balancing on his good leg.

"Yeah… I'm fine… We've all had worse…"

"Not me… Or Caitlin…" Cisco said, halfway to the point where he would freak out.

"Or me…" Ray added, "I've never been shot… Kinda hoping to keep it that way…"

"I've been!..." Felicity raised her hand as she almost cheered, then she remembered the subject and repeated her words in a more somber and fitting tone… "I've been shot…"

"All other things aside… I heard a whisper about some good news…" Diggle smiled and nodded towards Barry. "Is it true?"

"Yeah, I can feel stuff now… About down to here…" Barry smiled as he pointed at an area an inch or so above his kneecaps.

"Good"

 **So,,, yeah… This made little to no sense… I guess…**

 **Sorry…**


	8. Roaring silence

**Okay, so I'm an outdoorsy person, or at least I like to think I am… But with 2 jobs and a whole bunch of other hobbies… Let's just say there's not enough hours in a day always…**

 **(Um... FYI... Diggle is resting back at the hotel, because... Well... He 'just' got shot!)**

Oliver had managed to drive out to an empty place well outside the city. It was just him and Barry.

"Why are we here?" Barry asked as he lifted himself over to the wheelchair.

"Peace of mind…" Oliver answered as he lowered himself onto the front of the car. He let his right leg rest on the hood as he used his hands and his other leg to get further in on the hood.

"Huh?"

"Peace of mind… We all need it…"

"Yeah… But why are we here?"

"When was the last time you just let yourself sit back and relax, Barry?"

The long pause that followed answered enough of Oliver's question.

"Barry, do yourself a favor… Take this time when you can't do much else, to rest… Sit back, gaze up at the stars… Let your mind wander…"

"Since when did you go all Zen?..."

"Since shut your mouth and do as I told you… That's when…"

 **.FLASH.**

Barry let his head loll back against the car, he had parked his chair with the back towards the driver's door. That way he sat closest to Oliver.

The peace and quiet of the night almost scared him at first. It felt so overwhelming and grand. Then he realized how bright the stars were out here, where you only heard the faint hum of the interstate a few miles away. No other light sources messed up the billions upon billions of stars above them. And the roaring silence began to soothe his mind.

The chill autumn air brushed against his cheeks, making him shiver ever so slightly.

His heart slowed down, to a steady and relaxed beat. He felt every muscle in his body, or at least all the muscles he could feel at this point, relax.

His breath formed clouds each and every time he exhaled, and even though he had seen it a billion times before, it mesmerized him more than ever.

For once in he didn't know how long, he just was. He didn't think… He just… Was…

Minutes passed before he looked over at Oliver. Minutes of peaceful bliss, bliss coming out of silent chaos…

He kneaded his thighs again, thankful that the injury seemed to be healing. The progress was painfully slow, but once again, it was progress. It was moving in the right direction…

"How often do you do this?"

"Whenever I have time for it…"

"Which is…?"

Oliver huffed a laugh, before he cleared his throat and answered.

"When I'm forced to take a time-out… Like we both are now…"

 **Okay… So…  
I needed some fluff-ish thingy… **

**So it became some fluffish thingy…**

 **Thanks for all the amazing feedback!**


	9. Her boys

**Here comes another chapter!**

Oliver struggled his way across the room, his leg was not getting any better and it was still a week or so until they planned on travelling back to Star City.

Sweat was beading on his forehead when he reached the chair. The pain and the physical struggle was tearing him down, piece by piece. But he had no right to complain… He knew that…

Barry was still chained to the wheelchair, and Diggle had a brand new gunshot wound in his shoulder…  
So he had no right to complain…

His knee was pounding against his skin, making it feel like it was about to rip open. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry out in pain, wanted to smash things… But there were people around…

Felicity closed in on him, and hunched down beside him. She let her hand rest on his good leg, while she looked him deep in the eyes. Like she was studying his soul.

"Honey…" she whispered, "You know you are allowed to show pain… Especially if it's bad…"

He faked a smile, a skill he had polished through years of suffering.

"Babe, it's nothing… Don't worry about it…" he forced lightness into his tone, and a glimmer into his eyes. Even a polygraph would have believed him.

"Oliver…" Felicity sighed, her shoulders slumping. "That would have been believable if all the other evidence didn't point in the opposite direction… You're sweating, and I know that's not because of any exercise you might have done the last five minutes… It's because you're hurting…"

She curled her hand into a fist, then she relaxed again…

"Look, you need to start taking better care of yourself. You're not superman, nobody expects you to be… You're human, and you need rest... Tomorrow, you're not allowed to hobble around… Okay…?"

She stared at him for a long while, waiting for an answer.

"Okay?" she repeated.

Oliver opened his mouth to protest, then decided not to… So he nodded.

"Good."

 **.FLASH.**

His thighs were tingling. Which was almost worse than feeling nothing at all… His legs were in a constant state of needle-hell. That sensation you get in your legs if you forget about time when you're minding your own business in the bathroom…

He still couldn't move his legs, he could only feel them… But it was growing further and further down, and now he could feel touch even five inches below his knees. Which was improvement…

But the tingling…  
Heaven help him…? Did it have to be this bad?

 **.FLASH.**

A firm order to rest for a week. That was what John Diggle had been presented with by one doctor at Central City Hospital. But when had anyone working as vigilantes ever taken that order seriously? He had never seen anyone actually taking a week, or a month off… Not really…

He had seen Oliver being off field for short periods of time, far less time than the injuries actually demanded… And he was willing to bet big bucks that when Oliver's knee was merely walkable, Oliver would head out on the streets once again. It was just the way of life…

And besides, it didn't really hurt his shoulder to walk around… At least it beat having to stay in bed for all this time…

No, he wasn't going to let himself waste away for a whole week… Then months of slowly training himself up again… No…

He was going to do it the 'team arrow' way… Bite back his pain, and force himself through it…  
The only way they seemed to know how…

 **.FLASH.**

Felicity worried.

More than her regular, all the damn time, worrying… This was way worse, this was…  
She didn't know…

She had been monitoring hundreds of jobs. She had seen her boys take beatings no one deserved. Well, maybe except most folks her guys 'hunted'.

She had seen Oliver with cuts, bruises, fractures, dislocated joints… Gunshot wounds…

She had seen Diggle all messed up, cuts, scrapes, a GSW or two… Bullets seemed to just graze John, most of the time…

She had seen Barry… Looking like he just stepped out of a blender… But he always healed up fast…

This time was different…  
This time it was all three of them at once… This time…

They were fighting so hard, and they deserved to win so bad…  
But all the odds were stacked against them, and she couldn't see the happy ending of it all…

She saw how much pain Oliver was in, not by what he told her, or by how he acted… But by the mere way he moved, the way every movement caused him to break out in sweat, how he got short of breath by just hobbling from the couch to the computer table…  
This wasn't like Oliver… This wasn't one of those injuries he could just brush away like it never happened…

Yeah… Felicity worried.

 **Aaaand we're back to the angst and struggling once again… Sorry… couldn't behave myself…**


	10. Walking

**Okay… thanks for all the great comments on the story this far! Thank you!**

Barry tried his first unsteady steps since the fight. He was in a room almost by himself… Just one other person inside it…

He gripped the railing hard, but he put almost no weight on his arms… It was just that 'just-in-case' hold… He wouldn't dare a step even, if it weren't for the two solid metal rails beside him.

Five steps, and he was shaking… No one would believe he had once been The Flash… A few more and he was panting…

"You're doing great, Barry!" Oliver's encouraging voice cheered him on.

A smile flickered across his lips, before his left leg buckled underneath him. THAT was why he was holding the railings in a death-grip…

"You okay?" Oliver crutched closer.

"Yeah… Just need to concentrate a lot more than I used to…" Barry answers as he pulls himself back up to his feet.

"But you're walking! You're actually walking!" Oliver comes closer once again, he's almost touching the far end of the railings.

"Wouldn't call this walking…" Barry comments in a strained voice as he focusses on placing his right leg in front of the left one.

"It is walking! What would you call it?!"

"Merely moving my legs?"

"You're walking… It's just a little slow, and a little unsteady…" Oliver shakes his head, if only Barry could really see how great his progress was… Compared to all other humans in the same situation…

"Why do you have these rails anyway?" Oliver nodded towards the typical rehab-bars.

"I think it was a part of Eobard Thawne's scheme…"

"Okay…"

When he reaches the end he turns around, more than a little shaky… When he's facing his wheelchair again, he takes a couple of slow steps, pauses… And lets go of the rails…  
He doesn't move… He just stands there… For one, two… Three… Four… Five seconds. He grips the rail again with his left hand, as his right hand shoots back to rub an area low along his spine…

"My legs are strong enough… That's something…" Barry mumbles as Oliver stands behind him in awe.

He takes the last few steps before he lets himself down into the chair that stands there waiting.

"I'll be walking again some day…"

"You'll be walking again before I will…" Oliver comments, "I'm pretty sure of that…"

 **Okay… I kinda had to do this…  
Let Barry have a little more progress… **


End file.
